Whenever I’m asked if I will watch the kids so that my wife can go out, whether that be by the people wanting her to go out with them or by my wife so she can go and do something by herself, I always answer “no”. I always follow that answer with, “I will not ‘watch my own kids’. I will just be their dad.”
If you are a father, don’t “watch your kids” for your wife. Be their dad!
Disclaimer: It’s been said about me that I’m very opinionated and that I come across like, that is the way it is because I said so. However, I need to clarify what it is that I am. I think it’s a waste of time not to just say what you really mean or not to just ask what you really want to know. Also, I am very confident in who I am, so if I have something to say about something, I’m not concerned with who likes it or doesn’t like it…or who agrees or disagrees.
Okay…back to the point of this blog post (it’s also been said that I like to get on my soapbox). It’s extremely frustrating when I hear of a man who has to “watch” his own kids. Man up! That’s weak. You are not their babysitter. You are their dad. Any idiot can “watch” kids. Here is what I think is the problem…too many men view their children as a distraction or a nuisance who’s much-needed attention and affection are in direct opposition to their own agenda.
Our children are growing up, with or without you (dad). They will become young men and young women. Our sons will learn how to become a young men from somewhere. Without a dad who is committed and involved intimately, their alternative for learning how to become young men is our sick and twisted world. Without you (dad), there is saving grace that a godly man may come along and mentor your son; however, a mentor can never replace daddy. It’s not just our sons that we’re failing. Our daughters will develop their perspective of love based on us as dads. If we’re absent, their alternative for learning what love is all about is, once again, our demented world…and if there is one thing our world completely misunderstands, it’s what love is.
I’m not a perfect dad. I mess up a lot. But…I know that there are only two things that dads can do to start on the road to being a “perfect dad”. First, dads need to get out-of-the-way. What I mean is, move yourself out of your own way. Check your ego at the door. Leave your selfishness somewhere else. Focus in on your children. Second, after you’ve moved out-of-the-way you’ll need to learn how to be a “perfect dad”. There is only one person who can teach you that because He is the only one who is, ever has been, and ever will be, a “perfect dad”. Learn from our father in heaven how to be a “perfect dad”. He does not just “watch” us as His children. He is intimately involved in our lives.
There is a difference between ‘having kids’ and ‘raising kids’. Sounds like another blog post…another time.
